Deception Tips Podcast Episode 54 – Breathe Rapidly
Hello and welcome to the deception tips podcast where you will learn amazing cues to detect deceit that will help you read people like never before. I’m your host Spencer Coffman, let’s get started.
Welcome to deception tip 54, last time we spoke about a sign of deception related to stress and tension. Remember, there is a natural progression that leads up to pretty much all of these signs of deception. So, they start out with the fact that humans are taught to be good, we are taught that lying is wrong and we shouldn’t do it.
Therefore, we have a conscience that tells us no, that fights us any time we try to tell a lie and we have a moral compass directing us towards the truth. Anytime that we contradict those we are met with a little bit of resistance, there is a little bit of a pullback or a push, sort of like magnets that are opposite polarity that push away, there is a resistance there.
In addition, we have two levels of our mind fighting against each other, remember we have the conscious and the unconscious. The unconscious always wants the truth to come out, the conscious is more self-serving. For example, the conscious is like that little kid that you don’t have to teach how to be naughty, they’re just naughty, it’s inherently bad.
The unconscious is like that parent that says no, I taught you how to be good, I’m teaching you how to be good. They are constantly battling back and forth the conscious tries to do something to benefit themselves, the unconscious says no, you cannot lie,
let me leak the truth out through all of these different signs.
We have the moral compass or the conscience putting it in there with different things, causing physiological reactions like increased stress, heart rate, tension, things like that that the unconscious then can use to leak some signs of deception. So, it’s like a triangle of things going on that all result in these signs being displayed.
If you remember last week, we talked about how the voice will crack and that there are a number of symptoms or causes that come out with that result. So, the first thing is they’re telling the lie, lying is inherent, we don’t like it because we’ve been taught to be good. Therefore, there is some resistance which causes the stress and tension and then stress, and tension causes our body to go into a different state of fight or flight.
Now, it’s either really intense depending on the level of stress and tension or its slight. A slight one would be things like dry mouth because now your energy is being diverted away from the core out into the extremities, so you can fight or flight with your legs, run away. That means your mouth is not producing saliva because it’s non-essential for that fight or flight, therefore, you are starting to experience this dry mouth.
A result of that dry mouth, if we continue further down, his voice cracking, its dry lips is number one, which we talked about way back in episode 32. So, they lick their lips and because there’s no saliva, instead of dry mouth it leads to dry throat which leads to the voice cracking because there isn’t enough moisture in the throat, the voice starts to skip, go up and down, stutter, etc.
So, it’s like one of those if you give a pig or a mouse or a moose or whatever, it’s one of those books. First, this happens then this happens and then they’ll want this and then this and then this and so on and so on and you’re like, holy moly, what is going on?
So, that is how lying and the behaviors that follow work, it’s like a series of dominoes, one thing happens, then another then another, then another.
Pretty soon you are left out with the sign of deception that you can see, it as an observable characteristic that you should be able to see and notice. By understanding the reasoning behind all of these signs, you should be able to see them in notice them a lot more. In addition, you’ll start to notice them on yourself which is huge.
When you start to see behaviors on yourself then you will be able to see them on other people. Let me say that again, when you start to see and notice these behaviors on yourself then you will be able to more easily see and notice them on other people. The reason is because you will be able to understand these behaviors, you’ll be able to feel them, you’ll be able to know what they look like, what they sound like then you can see that in other people.
You’ll also be able to understand what might be going on in their head, you’ll be able to empathize with them, to really connect and say, “Hey, when they did this they could be feeling this, this or this because that’s how I felt.” Obviously, they’re not going to be the same, but it could be similar, therefore, pay attention to that, be more self-aware so that you can be more aware of others.
Today we have another sign of deception, this one again is something related with the mouth and is related with the lungs, it has to do with breathing. We’ve talked about things with breathing a couple of times before way back in episode 21 when we had suggesting answers where you could suggest answers and you can notice that the person who’s lying may be holding their breath and then release the second you say the right answer.
In addition, we talked about it in episode 46 with pursed lips, how a liar may purse their lips and exhale through them. It could be a weird thing but they’re pushing that air out as if to pacify that stress and tension. Today we are going to talk about breathing rapidly.
So, here it is, this is deception tip 54. People who attempt to conceal information often breathe more rapidly, taking a series of shallow breaths followed by a longer deep breath after telling a lie. Here it is again, deception tip 54. People who attempt to conceal information often breathe more rapidly, taking a series of shallow breaths followed by a longer deep breath after telling a lie.
Now, this is important, it’s a long tip so I’m going to break it down, we’ll go step by step so you can really understand it. Basically, it’s pretty simple, when someone is lying, they’ll breathe rapidly because they’re going to be stressed, they’re tense, it’s almost like they’re hyperventilating.
As soon as they tell that lie, they’re going to feel that peace, that release, they got it out so they’ll take a long, deep breath. We’re going to talk a lot more about it and a lot more about how you can see it coming up after this.
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Welcome back to deception tip 54, we are talking about how liars will breathe rapidly when they’re telling the lie. After they’re finished with that lie, once they’ve gotten it out, they’ll take a deeper breath of release as if the tension is now going away. They’ve released, they’ve gotten over that stress, it’s like that sigh of relief as soon as something is done.
You finished a big project, the second you put down your pencil after taking that test, ahhh, you’re worry free right now for a minute, that is what’s going on with these liars.
Remember, when someone is lying, they’re under stress and tension, their goal is to get that lie out as fast as possible. They want you to believe that lie that is their secondary goal.
The first one is to get it over with, they don’t want to be telling it, it’s very uncomfortable for them, they don’t like it any more than you do, they want to be done. They want that lie to be over with and most of all they want you to believe that lie so that they don’t have to keep going through it. They want to tell that lie, get it over with and they want the target to believe it instantly so that they can move on and be done and it’s over.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, that rarely happens, most of the time the lies come into question and they have to go through more and more questioning. Their stress levels go up and eventually, they’re caught in a lie and they’re worse off than before because now they’re in even more trouble for lying about it. Plus, they’re in trouble for whatever they lied about, that is also why there is a lot of stress and tension in lies.
Not only are they stressed about the fact that they did something wrong, they’re also stressed about lying about it. If they get caught, they’re going to be in trouble for not only the thing that they did but also for lying about the thing that they did. They’re going to be in double trouble, they know this and that’s why the stress and anxiety and tension is so high in them.
This is also why they’re going to be breathing more rapidly. How often do you see it in movies or even in real life? Someone has stressed they’re tense, they need to take a deep breath, they need to take a chill pill, they need to have a paper bag and puff away. You see that a lot, they take that paper bag, hyperventilating to release the stress and tension.
This is a mini form of hyperventilating, it is a miniature form, they are going to breathe more rapidly while they’re concealing that information. These breaths are going to be a little bit shallower, they’re not going to be normal breathing, it’s not filling their lungs, it’s quick, shallow breaths.
Interestingly enough, quick, shallow breaths are also evident in signs of attraction, when someone is attracted to someone else the breathing becomes shallow. However, they’re not rapid breaths like this one, this one is going to be like hyperventilating rapid breaths, that kind of breath. When it’s an attraction, it’s more shallow, intimate breaths, they’re very shallow breaths.
They’re a little bit deeper, they’re a little bit slower than that huffing and puffing of breaths, therefore, pay attention to that, note the distinction. Obviously, if you’re looking for clusters and patterns of behavior, which you should be, then you will not confuse them at all because the other signs that go with each of these are completely different.
So, pay attention to this one, it’s going to be shallow rapid breaths, you may hear them breathing like the example that I gave you or you may not hear them breathing. Chances are, depending on the situation, you’re probably not going to hear them breathing because that would be very evident that there’s something off.
So, you’re probably not going to hear them breathing, you may just notice their chest heaving like they’re panting almost or their stomach going in and out if they’re a diaphragm breather. Typically, because these are going to be shallow breaths, you’re most likely going to see it in their shoulders and their chest. They’re not going to reach all the way down to the diaphragm, it’s not going to be that deep breath.
When the lie is over with, when they’re done telling it, when they have convinced themselves that you believe the lie, there will be that deeper breath. You’ll see that diaphragm breath because they will have that tension gone, it’s gone for a moment. They have a period of relief and they’re going to take that deep breath, sigh, relief and relax a little bit while you chew on their lie.
Then, most likely you’re going to call that into question and then it’s going to put them in a position of stress and tension all over again. They’re going to exhibit some other signs of deception because they’re probably over the release and stress of this initial breathing exercise that they exhibited before. Therefore, pay attention again to patterns and clusters of behavior.
Remember that the conscious and the unconscious are always fighting it out. In addition, keep an eye out on other signs and know exactly what goes into those signs. So, why do you think they’re breathing rapidly? Did they just run a marathon? Did they run to get here? Did they need to catch the bus? Did they feel like they’re going to be late, so they had to run down the hall?
Did something happen so they’re scared and they’re breathing rapidly? Are they really attracted to someone and they’re breathing rapidly? You never know. There could be a variety of different things for this breathing so think about behind it. What is going on behind the scenes, deep down that’s causing this outward sign, this behavior?
Think about it in yourself, well, if I was breathing rapidly, what could the causes be, A, B, C, D? Which one could it be for them? Well, it’s probably not this one or this one, so it’s either B or C. Now, let’s take a look at their other signs of deception. Let’s see, they’re bouncing their leg, that means stress and tension, so it’s probably B.
Now, let’s prod them a little bit, ask some questions to drive that out or maybe to instigate them a little bit more and see how they respond to pinpoint exactly what is going on. You have to be thinking all the time, you need to be aware all the time, this is not for people who are lazy and it’s not for people who do not want to pay attention.
You need to be paying attention, you need to be thinking and you need to consider all options. You cannot have a one-track mind here, this is everything, the whole board, you’ve got to see the big picture. You need to pay attention, you need to notice, you need to use deductive thinking, you need to use some inductive thinking.
You’ve got to piece the puzzles together and you need to determine whether or not someone is lying to you. Why? It is because it is important. Do you want to be lied to all the time? Probably not. Do want to be taken advantage of? I certainly hope not, if you do then buy all my books because I’ll take advantage of that. No, I’m just kidding.
I want you to listen to this podcast, to watch the deception tips videos, to read “A Guide to Deception” and “The Deception Tips” book and also pay attention to the deception tips blog. I want you to learn this material so that you will never be lied to again, you will never be taken advantage of again, you will not have the wool pulled over your eyes.
The reason is, I think there is too much of that going on in this society, too many people are out to get other people, they’re all out for themselves. Let’s change that, let’s be a society that helps each other, that watches out for this, that is honest and has integrity and that works for the good of all of us as individuals. We can each build ourselves and help build other people.
Now that you got that, I want to thank you for listening to deception tips podcast. I really hope that you’ll share it with your friends, subscribe to the feed, check out the deception tips videos, the blog, also take a look at the books I have available and as always, tune in next week for a new deception tip.