Deception Tips Podcast Episode 6 – Covering Genitals
Hello, and welcome to the Deception Tips Podcast, where you will learn amazing cues to detect deceit that will help you read people like never before. I’m your host, Spencer Coffman. Let’s get started.
Welcome to episode 6 of the Deception Tips Podcast. Last time we talked about contractions and how liars often avoid using them when telling their lie. They do this for a number of reasons. The main one is because they not only need to convince other people of their lie, but they are also are working to convince themselves.
The reason they need to convince themselves is that, even though their conscious mind may believe this lie and is trying to tell this lie, the unconscious is very truthful. And if the unconscious doesn’t believe the lie, then it is going to attempt to leak sign, after sign, after a sign of deception because it will want the truth to get out. The conscious and the unconscious are always fighting. We’ve talked about this before. The unconscious will NEVER allow the conscious to get away with a lie. It will do whatever it takes to leak a nonverbal, or verbal, sign of deception.
Using contractions is a natural part of everyday language and avoiding using contractions is a verbal sign of deception. You must pay attention to that and when people say things like “did not” to further emphasize the point, they are not only convincing themselves but convincing the target that their lie is true. That is a major red flag because normally people don’t talk like that. Normally, people take the path of least resistance. They take the easiest route. They slur their words. They mush things together. They speak quickly. Which is crazy that a liar will slow it down and break it apart.
Usually, the liar should be under so much stress that they want to get the lies out as quickly as possible and therefore, using a contraction would be a great way to do that because it’s less words they have to speak. This is why it also doesn’t mesh really well. So when you hear someone avoid using a contraction, let that alert you and then further question to see what else may be going on because there will be more than one sign.
Today, we are going to talk about a different sign of deception. This one is a nonverbal sign that occurs on the body. It happens when vulnerability is realized by the liar. Usually, this will occur when the questioner or the target calls them out in the lie or even suggests something or if they start asking questions that hint that they may be figuring out or may be catching on to the lie. Then the liar will show this behavior.
So here it is, Deception Tip 6: When a liar is questioned, vulnerability may be shown by unconsciously covering the genital area, either with folded hands or an object. Here it is again: When a liar is questioned, vulnerability may be shown by unconsciously covering the genital area, either with folded hands or an object. Now there are a few things I want to talk about with this tip. The first part is when a liar is questioned. Now that doesn’t mean when they are being asked questions to get to the heart of the matter or the story. This is specifically talking about when someone questions their response or what they have said.
It is like if I ask you a question, and you give me an answer and I say, “Really, because I thought it was like this.” That is a direct question to what you said. It is doubt. That is what this is saying. When a liar is questioned. When a liar is doubted. So when they perceive that the questioner has not bought what they are selling. Essentially, when they see what they’re saying isn’t being believed. When there’s some doubt there. When they sense that their story is being doubted, that they didn’t get away with it, that they might NOT get away with it, this behavior will occur.
They will now feel vulnerable. This is often when people start to blush. Although this sign is when they unconsciously cover the genital area. Now, this can happen to men and women. It is universal across both areas because this is a sensitive area of the body so it’s something that people want to protect. It’s also universal because both men and women have those areas on their bodies.
Now they can cover them either with their hands and we see this a lot. Sometimes, people will be talking with their hands, and then when something happens, they fold their hands and put them on their lap. That is an unconscious sign that says they are covering the genital region. Another thing that they could do is maybe they take their briefcase and put it there or a newspaper. Anything. Folded hands, an object, it could be one hand, it could be their arm laying across their lap. This behavior can take on any number of forms or variations. It’s something that can happen with anything really. It’s not always noticed right away because it looks so natural.
There are many reasons why this is a natural occurrence and a natural appearance. One that doesn’t trigger a lot of red flags. There are several different possibilities and there are also reasons why it is an indicator of deception. We’ll talk more about all of these when we come back.
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The reason this looks so natural and is not always noticed as a sign of deception is because everybody feels vulnerable when their genital areas are exposed. Think about it. If you didn’t feel vulnerable if those were exposed, there might be something wrong with you. You’d probably get locked away. Therefore, to feel vulnerable when those areas are exposed is completely normal. That’s a good thing. I’m not saying we should advocate for flaunting everything out in the open. I’m saying that when people cover things up, they’re hiding something.
They’re already covered. You’re already wearing clothing. So when you put an ADDITIONAL covering over that, now you’re feeling vulnerable. You’re feeling exposed. There’s no reason that people should feel that way because they’re already covered. It’s like the jugular. For mammalian instinct or animal instinct, an animal protects the jugular because that’s a death blow with the swipe of a claw. Animals will only show that if they trust whomever they are showing. Usually, you see this a lot with dogs. Dogs will rarely lay on their belly with their heads back unless they really trust the owner to not kill them per say.
Humans, we want to protect these sensitive areas of our body. So when someone places their arms in there or their hands in front of them, it doesn’t seem like it out of place because, as humans, we ALL feel the urge to protect those things and keep them private. That is why, when it happens, we may not be quick to say, “Hey, that’s not natural. That’s something that could mean something else.” But I’m telling you right now, if you see this happen, you should question it and allow that to ping up your sensors so that you can start looking for other indicators of deception because they are covering up. They’re covering and hiding something. They’re protecting something.
So whatever they were saying, talking about, thinking about, it could be that something along those lines, something within that conversation, is not as it seems. In addition, when people place hands across themselves, like folding their arms? We talked about this a long time ago. That could be covering up a sensitive area. Or folding their hands in their lap, or putting their hand underneath their thigh, things like that, or hands on top of their thighs. Any of that covering of those sensitive areas, it feels good for people because they’re kind of hugging themselves with the arm folding.
They may be giving themselves a sense of security and this is another reason why it may not be noticed as well because you do it yourself. And you may do it when you’re not lying. You may do it if you’re cold. You kind of curl up but like we said, there are always many reasons for some of these behaviors and they are not always deception. But when you see them in conversation, that doesn’t really seem like a time that someone would want to cuddle up. So when it happens there, that’s a red flag. That’s something that is unnatural. That’s something that won’t happen in that instance. Therefore, when you see it, you need to pay attention to it because it could be a sign of deception.
Remember that not all of these behaviors are telltale signs of deception in and of themselves. They often occur with clusters and patterns of behaviors. For example, this behavior could occur with the arm folding. People backing away, they’re crouching down, they’re covering up. When a liar is questioned they’re feeling vulnerable because their lie is about to be exposed. It hasn’t been completely exposed. They haven’t been called out on this lie yet, but they feel inside that they are about to become exposed.
So their conscious and their unconscious are struggling with the possibility that they may be found out. They may be discovered. So that internal level of stress and anxiety has just gone way up and now they’re hiding. They’re covering. They feel like whoever is talking to them can see through what they have up. They can see through their shield. This is why they are adding an extra barrier to prevent that person from seeing through.
So when you see this, pay attention because there WILL be another sign if this is lying. Otherwise, if it’s not, who knows what it is? A level of comfort, they’re cold, could be any number of reasons. But the main thing is that you see these behaviors, allow them to alert you to the possibility of deception and then use further questioning and, also look for other signs, that can help you determine whether or not that behavior was a red flag and is indicative of deception or if it is something else. So stay vigilant and use what you know, combined with what you’re learning, to tell whether or not someone is really telling the truth.
I want to thank you for listening to this podcast and I encourage you to share it with your friends, subscribe to the feed, follow the Deception Tips blog, and take a look at the books I have available and, as always, tune in next week for a new Deception Tip.