Deception Tips Video 11 – Accepting Lies

My name is Spencer Coffman. Thank you for watching the Deception Tips videos. They’re all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you.

Today, we are going to talk about a cool tip about suggesting certain answers and getting people to admit to things by giving them something to work with. It’s a little tactic that you can use to catch people in their lie. It’s something that you can bring about once you already suspect them. Once you’ve asked a few other questions, and maybe you’ve noticed some certain deceptive behaviors that they’ve exhibited and you’re wondering whether or not they are telling the truth. Or whether they are not telling the truth, and you need that little extra thing to convince yourself, or to prove, whether or not they are being deceptive.

So here it is. This is Deception Tip number 11: Liars will seize any opportunity to be believed. Therefore, it is very likely that they liar will accept lies told by the target even if they may be incriminating. So, this is important because, if they liar really wants to be believed- which they do. All liars want to be believed or they wouldn’t be telling a lie. They would be telling the truth.

Now, when they want to believe, sometimes that urge is so strong that if the target, that is the person being lied to if they start suggesting things, such as adding different elements to the story or giving them material to work with, the liar may seize that and hang onto it. They’ll latch on to that information and run with it. If that is the case, the target can be certain that that person is lying because they know that that information is false.

It’s like planting a seed. They give them a little false seed to work. If they liar starts working with it, now they can be certain. “Well, now I know there’s lying because I gave him some false information and they’re telling it like it’s part of their story.”

Now, that’s the one side of it. That they can use that information and enhance their lie and then the target obviously knows that it’s false. So, it’s pretty much a drop in the bucket. It’s a dead sign that they are lying because you’ve handed them something that you know is false and they’ve started using it. That proves your point.

Now, the other side of this is something that the target could start suggesting different information, and it might be incriminating. So, like littler things. So, if you’re trying to get somebody to fess up to a greater crime- whether or not you’re trying to get people to fess up to crime is something, but- something greater, with a greater consequence, or a greater perceived consequence, then you might suggest littler things as a part of their story. Like, “Oh yeah, and you trespassed during that.” Or, “You left the door open.” Or something like that. You’d use little things that are seemingly insignificant, without consequence and they might say “yes” and add to them to corroborate their story.

So, if they said, “Yeah. Did you go over to so-and-so’s house and mow the lawn last week?” “Yup. Yup. I did.” And you know that they might be lying and you say, “Oh, because the door might have been open.” “Oh, yea! I must’ve forgot to lock the door.” And you know that, well they never went over there because the door was locked and now you know they just incriminated themselves by admitting to something that was seemingly insignificant but was still something that isn’t good. But, they admitted that and they took part of your suggestion, which is part of the story that you know is false, and started using it.

So, that’s two things that the liar has incorporated because they thought that the target believed them. So, this is very important. Even if the target doesn’t believe what they liar is saying, the perceived element of belief will go a long way in getting the liar to admit to something or to run with a story that the target knows to be false.

They seize any opportunity to be believed and if the target is showing any signs of belief, by saying certain things or by adding to their story or saying, “Oh yeah, and then what did you do?”- kind of encouraging them or building them up in that lie, then they will continue to talk because they think that they are being believed. And they will start to loosen up which means more signs of deception will come out.

If this is your first time watching these videos, I would love to have you subscribe to the channel on YouTube. Feel free to comment on them with any questions you may have. In addition, if you’d like some more information, we’ve got books, podcasts, e-books, blog posts all available on spencercoffman.com that are dedicated to teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will know exactly what every body is saying. Until next time.