Deception Tips Video 20 – Eye Contact
Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman. Thank you for watching the Deception Tips Videos, they’re all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you.
Today, we are going to talk more about deception and how you can see it, and when you can know if someone is lying to you or whether or not they are telling the truth. Today, we’re going to talk about eye contact. Now, eye contact is something that is hugely important in everyday conversation.
It’s something that when you are talking to other people, you’re looking at them and they know that you mean what you’re saying, and then that eye contact instantly adds credibility and authority, and all kinds of things like respect. And it’s easier for you to have eye contact when you’re listening than when you are talking. For example, you’re watching these videos and you’re looking right at the screen. You’re looking at me, and I, and you see that my eyes are looking right at you in your eyes.
So this is Deception Tip number 20, and it is all about eye contact. Liars often display increased eye contact. As if to see that the target believes their lie.
So when someone is lying, they want to make sure that the target, or the person that they are lying to, will believe their lie. After all, that is the reason that they are lying in the first place. They have a goal, and that goal is, number one, to be believed. And number two, to get away with whatever they are trying to get away with. And inside of them, they have a burning desire to let that lie out. They are being filled with all kinds of stress, and tension, and things like that.
They are very anxious, and they have a lot of anxiety, and as you’ve learned already in a lot of these other videos, that this anxiety kind of boils up, and they can’t wait to get that out. And this is often why there’s a lot of nonverbal leakage that happens with the conscious and the unconscious, and they’re battling one another. They are head-to-head fighting.
The conscious is trying to get away with this lie and the unconscious is leaking out all of these truthful behaviors so that someone else can see, and see through that lie. So when a liar is lying, they will display increased eye contact. Now, this is a huge portion of detecting deception, because a lot of people believe that if you are looking someone in the eye, then you know that they’re telling the truth.
How often do you hear that? “Look me in the eye, so I know you’re telling the truth.” However, this is a myth. It is a huge myth because when a liar is lying, they will look you right in the eye because they want to watch you believe the lie. They want to see that you are being fooled. They have that desire to know whether or not you are going to believe that lie and whether or not they are going to get away with it.
So often times as they tell that lie, if, if the target doesn’t know any better, and they say, “look me in the eye so I know you’re telling the truth,” you have just given that liar a big sigh or a big breath of relief, because now that they know that they can look you in the eye without feeling suspicious, or without you getting suspicious. When the liar looks at the target in the eye, they know that they have a much better chance to get away with that lie.
So if you are the person who has said, “look me in the eye so I know you’re telling the truth,” now you need to rely on other signs of deception because there will be some. You may see a little sign of contempt after that. So, you could, even if you’re interrogating, or if you’re questioning someone, or if you’re trying to get the truth, you may use this to your advantage.
You may say, “look me in the eye so I know you’re telling the truth,” and you may know full well that they want to look you in the eye. But then you may watch for a different sign, such as contempt, or a little happiness to see if they know that they are going to get away with something. There a lot of things at play when it comes to reading people and detecting deception, and knowing whether or not they are lying to you. You need to use multiple signs, and you need to look for patterns and clusters of behavior.
If this is your first time watching these videos, I would love to have you subscribe to the channel On YouTube, In addition, if you have any questions or comments, feel free to leave them there as well. Also, if you’d like more information, we’ve got books, podcasts, blog posts, all available on SpencerCoffman.com that are completely dedicated to teaching you exactly what every body is saying. Until next time.