Deception Tips Video 3 – Contradictory Behaviors
Hey guys my name is Spencer Coffman thank you for watching the deception tips videos. They’re all about teaching you how to read people so that you can know if someone is lying to you.
Today we are going to talk about a deception tip called contradictory behaviors. And it is when someone does something and says something. They either need to go with each other, or they go against each other. And so that is very, very important when it comes to making sure someone is telling the truth. Because most of the time, people who tell the truth, they do so naturally. Which means their speech and their body language is cohesive. It goes together naturally.
However, when someone lies they may do things that contradict one another and that is the deception tip for today, so here it is.
Deception tip number 3: contradictory behaviors, such as saying no while nodding yes, are often displayed by liars.
Now, saying no and nodding yes. You see this all the time, and a lot of people don’t even think about it. So I can say no and my head just nodded yes. Or I can say yes, and my head could move no. That is something that you see in everyday life, but you don’t necessarily notice it. In addition, a lot of people may not really know that they’re lying. So the reason that this could happen is if I would say yes or no, and my head goes the other way. That’s a completely contradictory behavior. So that’s a problem when it comes to body language and truthfulness.
For example, if I’m talking, and you see my hands are moving with my voice. If my hand didn’t move with my voice, then that looks kind of funny. Someone says, “well, what’s wrong? What happened? Did the audio cut out? Did something not work properly?” It looks odd. It’s not normal.
So when you see someone who says yes and they shake their head no, that’s not normal. But when I say shake my head no, and I move my head in the no direction, that looks normal. So that is something that now that you noticed this, you will start to see that, “hey, it really does kind of look abnormal.” And when people lie, there’s a battle that goes on inside their head.
Now it’s really, it’s like there are two different entities, the unconscious and the conscious. But in reality, it’s all one. It’s all one brain. It’s your, your head. You have one mind, but you have two sides that are battling. The conscious is always trying to tell a lie. It’s trying to get away with something, it’s self-serving. The unconscious is pretty truthful. This is the part of your brain that leaks these nonverbal or these verbal cues, or leakage, that can help other people determine whether or not you’re telling the truth.
So in this example, if someone consciously says yes and non verbally they shake their head “no”, that would be the unconscious. That is a contradiction. Now they may not be consciously lying. For example, they may have forgotten. I may ask you “Did you go camping in 2010?” And you may say “no I don’t think so”, but you nodded yes. Well, unconsciously you may have remembered that you did go camping in 2010. That was a long time ago. But consciously, you didn’t remember that. Because it’s not something you think about all the time. Then later, you may say, “you know what? As I think about it, I did. I went camping in 2010 in September,” or something like that.
It’s something, that does not necessarily mean that someone is maliciously lying, it could mean that they just forgot. Maybe they forgot about something that you asked them and they say yes or no, and their head moves the other way. It doesn’t mean that you need to question and say, “hey, wait a minute. Your head just moved yes, and you said no. That means you’re lying.” Because they may not know they’re lying.
And in addition, if they are maliciously lying, if they are trying to get away with something, then you will see other signs. There will be more than one sign. It won’t be the only sign you see. So if you continue to pay attention to these videos, you check out the podcast, you listen to other things, and you start to learn what every body is saying, and you start to learn about body language and deception.
You’ll start to notice that there are thousands of different signs that you could pick up. And when you piece them together, and they form a pattern or a cluster, then you will really be able to tell if someone is lying.
I want to thank you for watching these videos. I would love it if you subscribed to the channel on YouTube. If you have any questions or comments, go ahead and post as well. In addition, if you’d like some more information, we’ve got books, ebooks, blog posts, and podcasts all available on SpencerCoffman.com that are all dedicated towards teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will know exactly what every body is saying.
Until next time.