Deception Tips Video 33 – Third Person

My name is Spencer Coffman, thank you for watching the deception tips videos. They’re all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you.

Today, we have a very cool tip to talk about, it is something that people often use without even knowing that they’re using it. They are talking in a normal conversation, it can come out and in abnormal conversation or lying, deceptive conversation, they can have it as well. So, this today is deception tip number 33. A liar may tend to speak in the third person and or use distancing pronouns, for example, saying one instead of I.

So, liars like to speak in the third person because it separates them from the situation. We talked about this way back in video number 18 when we talked about distancing language. Again, we have a podcast that goes with it, it was also number 18 or on the deception tips blog, it was blog post 18.

Anyway, number 18, we talked about this before with distancing language, how people would say, “well, I would never do business with that person or I would never establish with that person.” One popular politician used that in his defensive line and it’s all over on YouTube. You can type it out with ‘that person’ or ‘that someone’ he said, and he used distancing language to separate himself from that situation and try to cover up a lie.

Now, people use that all the time and it’s not only when they’re lying, but it could also be when they don’t feel like they’re a part of a group. For example, if someone recently comes on to a board meeting or a new job and they may start saying things like, “well, you guys” or “you”, they haven’t quite identified with the group yet.

Until they start saying things like ‘we’ or ‘our’ or ‘at our job’ or ‘our employment’ or ‘our group’, things like that. So, watch out for that with new people that join groups, you want them to feel a part of it, so they shouldn’t be using distancing language. Watch out for people who are lying, they will use distancing language.

Today, speaking in the third person is a part of that distancing language, for example, saying one instead of I. So, they would say, “well, one would think that when you go down to the grocery store, you would take this road and this road instead of these roads.” Well, why not just say I would think that or normally you would take these roads instead of these roads, it doesn’t quite sound right.

When people talk in the third person about something that is happening in their life, it doesn’t make sense. They’re not supposed to be talking in the third person because it’s happening directly to them. The only reason that they switch it to the third person is either because, well, they’re an idiot or because they want to sound smarter or because they’re lying.

So, there could be a variety of reasons just like any of these deception tips, there’s always a number of reasons that any of them may happen. When speaking in the third person, unless someone is telling a story and the third person is a valid form of language or speech to happen in that particular instance, then it really doesn’t belong, it doesn’t belong there. So, that means it’s out of place, it’s abnormal.

Therefore, if it’s abnormal, then you should pay attention to it because usually, anytime that you encounter something that’s abnormal, whether it’s with speech, body language, facial expressions, behaviors, contradictions, any of those, how they work together. Anytime that you see something abnormal with that, it means that you need to pay attention to it because that’s a sign, it’s something that’s coming.

So, if you watch that and determine if there are any other abnormal signs happening in conjunction with those, you’ve started to see a pattern and a cluster of behaviors, which could be very indicative of deception or that that person is not telling the truth. They may be either flat-out lying or they may be withholding something.

That is up to you to discern from the situation and investigate and prod further but anytime you see one of these signs, that’s a warning. You can investigate and dig a little deeper to determine if it was nothing or if it is something. That is all up to you and that is why these videos are so important.

So, if it is this your first time watching these videos, I would love to have you subscribe to the channel on YouTube. Also, we’ve got tons of information available on spencercoffman.com. We have books, blog posts, podcasts, all that stuff, a hundred percent dedicated to teaching you exactly what everybody is really saying, until next time.