Deception Tips Video 35 – Mirror Movements
Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman, thank you for watching the deception tips videos. They’re all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you.
Today, we are going to talk about a sign of deception that is really cool, it’s about copying other people and doing what they do so that you can see whether or not they’re telling the truth. Now, a person’s mind works in a strange way, we’re humanistic creatures, we’re human beings and we’re social creatures. We want to be liked by everyone else, we want to fit in with everyone else, we want to belong to a community or to a group.
So, usually, what this means is we like to mirror or copy behaviors, especially of people we like. If you have siblings and you have younger siblings or if you have older siblings, you’ll probably deny it if you have older siblings, but if you have younger siblings you’re going to know that when you were younger you were frustrated because your little brother or your little sister, why are they copying you? Why are they doing things like you? Why do they want to be like you? Well, that’s because they like you and that’s because they want to be like you, but it may frustrate you because they’re doing everything the same.
Now, if you’re a little sibling that did that with your older siblings you may deny that but it’s true, nonetheless. We tend to mirror and copy the people who we either want to be like or who we respect. Dress to be the person you want to be not to be the person you are, type of a thing, where if you dress up to be at a higher level then you’re going to become that person or you’re going to be impressed by those people.
So, that’s what we’re going to talk about today, that naturally, we mirror other people’s gestures. So, here it is, deception tip number 35. Truthful people tend to mirror head movements of the person with whom they converse, whereas a liar takes a more statuesque pose. You see there, that’s a yawn that was a fake yawn, but chances are when you see that you may yawn.
Now, that was kind of a cruel joke to play on you, but yawning is one of those head movements that we tend to mirror, and we don’t know why we mirror that one. Other ones could be things like if I go like this, pretty soon in the conversation, watching a video, you may not do the same thing. If you do, well then, that’d be pretty cool but pay attention to when you’re in conversation face to face with other people, yawn sometimes.
Fake a yawn sometimes, then you may even yawn for real a couple seconds later and see if other people around you yawn. In addition, touch your face sometimes, see if other people touch their face or pretend you have something on your lip like this. Then maybe the person you’re talking with, maybe they’re going to be like, “oh, do I have something on my lip?” They’re going to mirror that because we are naturally self-conscious creatures where we want to make sure that we look good.
Obviously, if I have something on my face, I don’t want to be talking with other people because that would be embarrassing. I guess, no one’s really going to say anything but usually when that happens sometimes other people will do that like, ‘you’ve got something right there.’ Then the person who has something there is going to do the same thing to wipe it off.
So, we’ve been conditioned to mirror those types of facial behaviors and facial movements. It’s important that when we say head gestures of the person, we’re not really talking about how we move our head or nodding ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or the little micro expressions that happen with all the different muscles or eye movements, things like that. We’re talking about hand to face gestures, of mirroring those.
Now, it can even be taken a step further and say, a lot of people, when you’re conversing with other people, if you itch your shoulder or if you fold your arms behind your back or if you fold your arms this way, pretty soon the other people in your conversation circle or the three other people you’re talking with, the other person you’re talking with is going to stand that way.
So, if I stand with a hand on my hip or if I decide to stand like this, however it goes, after a couple minutes of conversation and me standing like that, pretty soon the other people are going to stand that way as well. It’s just because that’s what feels natural within the group, you’ll often find when you’re conversing with a group of people that one person sets the tone for that group.
You may not notice this now but now that you’re aware of it, you may start paying attention to it and you’ll see that the next time you’re speaking with people, you can pick out who is running that conversation. They may not be the one talking all the time but they’re silently running that conversation with their body language.
They may fold their arms, pretty soon the next person folds their arms, then maybe five minutes later another person folds their arms. You could be paying attention to this saying, wow, look at this and find out who is the leader of that conversation, body language conversation and then you can take it over from them.
It’s sort of a status type of a thing but it’s very important with deception because if someone is lying, you do not want them to be leading that body language conversation. Therefore, if when you’re speaking with someone trying to get the truth, start doing some of these things, maybe intentionally touching your face or going like that or pretend you have something in your eye and see if they mirror your behaviors.
If they do, then that’s a good sign because liars are usually so focused on their lie that they’re not using those natural behaviors. Their conscious mind and their unconscious mind are at such a battle, their conscious is trying so hard to push that lie forward and their unconscious is trying so hard to leak out all these behaviors. Those typical unconscious things like touching and mirroring behaviors don’t happen, so that is something to watch for.
If you are questioning someone and you think maybe they’re lying, start doing a few of those hand to head gestures and see if they mirror you. If they mirror you then you know that they’re unconscious is at work and it’s working as it should. If they don’t mirror you then you know that they’re unconscious is fighting to try to leak some sort of truthful behaviors so that you can pick up on their lie.
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