Deception Tips Video 40 – Take Up Space
Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman, thank you for watching the deception tips videos. They’re all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you. Today, we are going to talk about a cool sign that is really something that you see often but you don’t really notice it often.
It’s like a lot of these signs that we’ve been talking about, they seem to be a natural part of communication and behavior and how people converse but then once you start to notice what they really mean you start seeing them everywhere and you know that they’re not common but until you get told or made aware of it you don’t see it.
It’s like the big, popular FedEx company, if you look at their logo it says FedEx. However, if you look closely there’s an arrow there, once you’re made aware of that arrow every time you look at the FedEx, boom that arrow is going to stand out big time. So, similar to all of these deception tips, you don’t really notice them at first, once you’re made aware of them you start to see them all over the place.
So, here it is, deception tip number 40. When telling lies, people may curl up in an effort to take as little space as possible. Now, there is something here that is a two-factor lie, so when people are telling a lie they try to curl up, why? Why do they try to curl up? Well, as we’ve said before, the body is a tremendous indicator of deception and leakage, so if they curl up there’s less for you to see.
So, if I’m standing like this and I’m wide, I’m broad, you can see a lot of what’s going on in my body. If I go like this and fold my arms which we talked about way back in video number one when you fold your arms now you can see less of my body. You can’t see my fingers, you can’t see my hands, I don’t do any hand gestures, you’re like what’s going on, you’re just like a statue talking, there’s something wrong? But, if I go even further and curl up and turn away, you can only see a portion of my body, it’s less and less and less.
Whereas, if people are confident, they tend to stand up, they stand up straight, they have good posture, they dominate that space they occupy. Go to any business meeting where you have a board meeting at a table and notice how people compete for the tablespace. They’ve got their binder and they open up their briefcase and they pull out some papers and their pens and this and that.
Sometimes if it’s a big formal meeting they’ve even got stacks of brochures and paper and business cards and maybe their little flags or whatever and they take up a bunch of the tablespace. Well, because unconsciously, the more real estate you occupy on the table the more important you are, or the more important people see you. Confidence, confident people tend to dominate the space they occupy, liars like to conceal so that you don’t see as much of me so you’re not seeing all of that leakage that I could potentially give off.
So, pay attention to that when you’re speaking with someone if they hide or cower or curl up. You’ve got to watch for two things, number one, are they afraid of you like you’re going to beat them or something or number two are they hiding something. So, if you’re not the type of person to hit someone or to beat someone or if you know that they’re not afraid of whatever it may be.
Maybe they’re afraid of a male presence, maybe they’re afraid of women, maybe they’re afraid of authority. Whatever that case, if you can determine that they’re not afraid of something then that means if they’re cowering, they’re hiding something which means they’re afraid of something being found. So, either way, it’s still some form of fear being put on there.
It’s also done to protect themselves from that leakage being seen because the conscious and the unconscious are always fighting. So, that unconscious is going to push out all kinds of behaviors to try to get the truth found. Shrinkage may be one of those behaviors, it’s a form of leakage that pacifies the conscious.
The conscious is saying like, “Alright, if I can tell this lie and get it out without the unconscious knowing then that’s great.” The unconscious says, “Well, I’ll one-up you, I’ll cower so that you think that there’s not going to be enough body for people to see. However, in doing that that is also a sign of leakage, so then the unconscious 1ups the conscious and both of them are for a moment at peace if you will.
So, watch for that and also determine the reasoning behind it but keep in mind that there will be other signs of deceptive behavior that happened with that. So, if you start to see that pay attention to some other signs if you see some other signs you can have some suspicion, you can know which direction to go, which questions to ask to get to the truth.
If this is your first time watching these videos, I’d love to have you subscribe to the channel on YouTube. It’s all about reading people, detecting deception, there’s a lot of information on there. Also, if you’d like even more information, we’ve got books, blog posts, podcasts, all available on spencercoffman.com that are dedicated to teaching you exactly what everybody is really saying, until next time.