Deception Tips Video 43 – Repeat The Question
Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman, thank you for watching the deception tips videos. They’re all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you’ll be able to tell if someone is lying to you. Today, we have a cool tip about communicating with other people and how people respond to certain questions.
It’s something we’ve talked about before a little bit when we talked about ‘yes’ and ‘no’ answers. Also, when we talked about quick answers way back when and it’s a stalling tactic or a delaying tactic when answering a question. So, here it is, deception tip number 43. A liar may hesitate or use stalling tactics such as asking for the question to be repeated or rephrased.
Now, these stalling tactics are something that is very hard to determine because usually, it’s a part of everyday conversation. So, if you ask me a question and I say, “Well, can you repeat the question please” or “Can I hear it again” or “What do you mean by XYZ?” So, oftentimes, if you ask me a hard question and I need some more time to think of it maybe I would do something like, what do you mean by this and get you to rephrase it without directly asking you to rephrase it.
So, these types of things are stalling tactics and they’re not something that’s normal. Most people when they’re asked a question and when they’re asking questions, they expect answers right away, they expect an answer now. I asked you the question, you should be able to answer because I asked you a question about something that you know about.
Where were you last night between 10:00 and 2:00? Well, let’s see, 10:00 and 2:00 p.m. I was probably sleeping, you know that. Whereas, if you need more time to think about it, then that could be suspicious and stalling tactics usually in normal conversation they don’t need to happen.
It’s like when we talked about yes-or-no questions and I asked you a yes-or-no question and you all of a sudden give me this big long answer. Hey, wait a minute, a yes-or-no question means yes or no, it’s really simple, yes or no. I don’t need the whole explanation, I don’t need all the stuff, it’s not an essay question, it’s a yes or no question.
So, when people use stalling tactics such as, well, can you repeat the question or can you use it in different words, can you rephrase that question? Okay, what do you mean by this word or this word? Those are all stalling tactics that really don’t need to be used unless you’re talking to someone who isn’t natively speaking whatever language you’re talking to them in.
So, if I was talking to someone whose native language is not English and they say can you repeat the question or can you rephrase it or what does this word mean, that’s a legitimate reason, they probably don’t understand what we’re saying. But, if you’re talking to someone who’s native in English, they should really know what you’re asking and if they don’t know what you’re asking then they could potentially be stalling.
So, in that case, pay attention to those other verbal things we’ve talked about such as quick answers of ‘yes’ and ‘no’, such as things like ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions when they don’t answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or things where they really are starting on a huge essay question or these stalling tactics or those truthful behaviors such as, to be honest, or to tell the truth.
If you see any of those added things in language, contractions, splitting them apart, all that stuff, that’s all patterns and clusters. So, if you ask a question and then you hear that stalling tactic of rephrasing the question then pretty soon you notice they’re not using contractions, they are answering yes or no questions funnily, things like that, that’s a pattern and a cluster of behaviors.
Of course, there are going to be other body language signs with that but pay attention to all of that together because there will be a ton of patterns and clusters and individual signs of leakage that are going to be flowing out when they’re telling a lie that you can pick up on and steer the conversation to hone in on where their lie is and why they are lying.
So, if this is your first time watching these videos, I would love to have you subscribe to the channel on YouTube, feel free to leave any comments or questions on there as well. Also, if you’d like some more information, we’ve got books, podcasts, blog posts, all available on spencercoffman.com that are dedicated to teaching you exactly what everybody is really saying, until next time.