Deception Tips Video 46 – Pursed Lips

Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman, thank you for watching the deception tips videos. They’re all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you. Today, we are talking about a cool deception tip that is related to the lips.

Remember, this is something where the conscious and the unconscious are battling, the conscious wants that lie, the unconscious wants the truth. It is a gesture that you will see that is both auditory and visual. That being said, it isn’t something to do with the spoken word, it’s not a voice or speech deception tip, this is a breathing deception tip as well as the lips. So, you’re going to see it on the lips, you’ll hear it in the breathing.

Remember that joke where it says people are lying when their lips are moving, you can insert whatever you like there, whether it’s politicians, men, women, etc. How do you know if they’re lying, it’s because their lips are moving, this is one of those types of tips, you’ll know because their lips are doing something, in addition, you’ll also hear it. So, this is one of the tips that you need to put with all of the other things that you’ve learned.

Then you’re going to establish that pattern and cluster of behaviors to determine that that person is indeed lying or if this is just one of those things that may happen in their conversation. Or, it’s a type of thing that they do maybe to make themselves feel a little better or to gather their thoughts. Whatever the case may be, you’re going to look for other signs of deception that go along with it because if someone is lying, there will always be more than one sign.

So, here it is, this is deception tip number 46. Liars may puff up his or her cheeks and then exhale slowly through pursed lips to pacify their tension. So, there are a few things in this tip, the liar may puff up his or her cheeks, this is like a puffer fish or a blowfish. They’re going to puff up the cheeks like when you were a kid and you used to hold your breath.

For some reason, when we were kids, we thought that if we held our breath, we had to have our cheeks puffed up and that if we didn’t have them puffed up, then we weren’t holding our breath. So, when you had those competitions with people, your cheeks were always puffed up like a blowfish. Now we know that you can hold your breath simply by not breathing, your mouth can even be open, and you can be holding your breath.

Keep that visual in mind, when you were a kid, you had your nose plugged, your cheeks puffed up, that’s what it was when you were holding your breath, that’s what you’re going to see in this tip. The person is going to puff up their cheeks then they’re going to slowly let that breath out. As their cheeks go down, their lips are going to extend a little bit, the lips will be pursed, kind of like puckered but not quite.

It’s almost like a duckbill lip or those pictures that you see teenagers post when they have the duck lips, it’s going to be like that. The cheeks are going to be puffed up, then they’re going to exhale through their lips, so you’re going to hear it as well as see it. You’re going to see three things, you’re going to see the cheeks go up, then you’re going to see them go down and then you’re going to see the lips be extended.

You’re going to hear their breathing because chances are, you’re going to not only hear the breathing of the exhale but you’re also going to hear them taking a deep breath before it. So, why is this happening? Well, they’re stressed, anytime someone is telling a lie they’re stressed and they’re tense, think about all of the things that go into telling a lie.

They have to think of the lie, they have to remember it, they need to make sure they get it right. Not only are they worried about that, but they also need to convince the target of the lie, so they need to make them believe it. That’s stressful because now they have to sell something to someone, they’re not getting any money for it but they’re still selling it, they have to sell their lie, convincing them.

In addition, they’re worried about getting caught, not only that but they’re covering up something or they’re lying about something. So, there’s the consequence of whatever that is plus there’s the consequence of lying. So, there are all these things that they are stressed and tense about, they’re worried about. Then when they go to deliver that lie there’s all that tension, stress and anxiety happening inside their mind.

Sometimes they just need that deep breath, so they’re going to take that deep breath, they’re going to let it out, you’re going to see and hear it in multiple different areas. So, keep in mind you’re going to see probably three things, you’re going to hear the inhale and exhale, so if you’re paying attention that’s a lot right there. It’s not going to be like a 10-minute deal, this is going to happen in a matter of maybe a couple of seconds.

So, keep in mind that you need to also be on the lookout for these other patterns and clusters of behaviors because when they’re lying there’s always more than one sign. You’ll hear other audible things, you may see other breathing things, there are a lot of different signs. Remember we have a hundred and one tips, this is number forty-six, so we’ve covered quite a few and we’ve got a lot more to go.

You’re going to see a lot of different signs and this is only 101, there are numerous others out there, so keep that in mind. This is also known as a pacification gesture because they are pacifying the tension. Remember when you were a baby or maybe you have kids or you have nieces and nephews and they’re little and they’re crying, what do you give them, you give them a pacifier. Why? It is because you’re pacifying something.

Whether they’re crying because they’re hungry or they’re angry or something like that, you’re pacifying whatever desire that they have. So, if they have a desire to eat, you’re giving them this pacifier to pacify that desire until they can eat. So, what is this behavior doing? They’re breathing, pacifying that stress and tension until the lie is over with and they can have that relief that it’s done and over, so they’re pacifying the stress in tension until they can tell that lie and get it over with, it’s a delay.

So, you’re going to keep that in mind as well because this is a pacification gesture and there are several other pacification gestures that we’ve talked about or that we will talk about and generally you’ll start to see more of them in a pattern or cluster together. So, again a recap, you’re going to see three things, you’re going to see their cheeks go up like a puffer fish or a blowfish then you’ll see the cheeks go down like they’re letting the air out of a balloon.

You’ll also see their lips extend through that pursed lips then you’re going to hear two things, you’re going to hear the inhale of that deep breath then you’re going to hear that slow, long exhale and you’ll also see them exhaling as well. Maybe you’ll be able to see their chest or if they breathe with their shoulders at all or their stomach etc.

Watch for that because it is a potential sign of deception. Keep in mind though it’s also stress relief, so if they’re tense and stressed about something completely legitimate you may see this behavior, it may not mean they’re lying. So, that’s why it’s very important that you look for those patterns and clusters of behaviors.

If this is your first time watching these videos, I’d love to have you subscribe to the channel on YouTube, feel free to comment with any questions you may have. Also, if you’d like more information, we have books, blog posts, podcasts all available on spencercoffman.com that are all dedicated to teaching you exactly what everybody is really saying, until next time.