Deception Tips Video 60 – Dominate Space
Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman, thank you for watching the Deception Tips videos, they’re all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you. Today, we are talking about a behavior that is something that you witness all the time, this is very popular in business meetings or other meetings in general.
It’s also very popular when someone starts to think that they are a little bit more superior than other people or if they’re the boss then they have the right to be. Otherwise, you tend to see it a little bit more in men than women simply because it’s more of a natural tendency of men than women but it’s something that you want to be on the lookout for.
Again, watch out for this because depending on the situation, you could be running into something that is a little bit more harmful or a little bit tough. They could be lying to you, something could be happening, otherwise, if the situation is proper and it’s a correct situation then there’s nothing to worry about. So, you’ve got to pay attention to that and know the context of what is going on before you make any conclusions about whether or not someone is lying.
So, here it is, this is deception tip number 60. Confident people tend to dominate the space they occupy, whereas liars take up the least amount of space possible. Now, you’ll notice there are two things, number one, confident people tend to take up more space. This is because they want to show off, they want to show people what they have, what’s going on.
If you go to a business meeting and you look at the big conference table, whether it’s a big circle one or a square one, take a look around the table and you’ll see that people are competing for that tablespace, that real estate, why? Well, it is because whoever has the most stuff on that table, whether it’s their papers, their coffee, their little drinks, their pens, and all this other stuff, they have more control in the meeting.
That’s, psychologically, that’s unconscious, people just think that if they have their stuff sprawled out they’re more important, they feel more important because they have more. Whereas the other person who maybe is just sitting in their chair with their notebook and they’ve got nothing on the table, “Oh, they’re unimportant”. Well, that’s not entirely true, that’s just how everything is perceived, so watch for that.
Pay attention to it the next time you’re in a meeting, single out or watch for those people that tend to dominate and take up that space. Are they being confident because they’re really confident and it’s worthwhile, or are they confident as some kind of a false sense of security for their own insecurities that they need to show other people that they’re important or that they feel important or that people perceive them as important?
The other thing is liars take up the least amount of space possible, we talked about this in deception tip number 40 with ‘Taking Up Space’. How when people lie, they are having a battle between the conscious and unconscious, they are fighting, so the conscious wants the truth to not come out, it wants that lie. The unconscious is pushing so hard to leak all of these nonverbal signs, these verbal cues, gestures so that other people can see the truth.
Part of the conscious’ defense to that is it’s going to curl up so that the unconscious doesn’t have as much to work with to let those behaviors come out. Unknowingly, the conscious is providing a sign of leakage in and of itself, because you can know that when people tend to curl up a little bit more they may be hiding something, “may be” hiding something.
It’s not guaranteed, there could be any number of reasons, they could be cold, they could be feeling insecure, there could be who knows what going on, it could be a comforting gesture, any number of things. The main thing for you to remember for today is that confident people tend to dominate the space they occupy. Whether that means that they are telling the truth or whether that means they’re putting on a show so that their lie is more believable, you have to determine that from the situation.
So, if this is your first time watching these videos, I’d love to have you subscribe to the channel on YouTube, feel free to comment with any questions you may have as well. Also, if you would like some more information, we have books, blog posts, and podcasts all available on spencercoffman.com that are dedicated to teaching you exactly what everybody is really saying, until next time