Deception Tips Video 65 – Conceal The Truth
Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman, thank you for watching the deception tips videos, they’re all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you. Today, we are going to talk about a simple fact about liars and that they don’t necessarily always want to reinvent the whole story.
A lie is not always entirely false, this is a myth that people seem to believe that when someone lies, it’s a fabricated story or it’s a fictitious event, that the entire thing is completely fake, this is a huge myth. Usually, when people lie, there are a lot of bits of the truth mixed in with that lie for several reasons.
Number one, it’s easier to remember, it’s easier to tell, they don’t have to keep track of so much, among other things. That’s what we’re talking about today, liars don’t always want to completely fabricate the entire story. Oftentimes, they would prefer to conceal the truth rather than invent something new.
So, here it is, this is deception tip number 65. Liars prefer to conceal the truth rather than coming up with an entirely new story. So, they want to conceal this truth. If there’s something that happened, they are more interested in covering it up and leading people in the wrong direction rather than pretending that okay, it didn’t happen, let’s say something else happened and go with it from there.
Our brains and code memory in a sporadic and messy way, it’s not neat and orderly like a file cabinet. Everything is just thrown in there and then we can remember it or recall it as it starts to be stimulated or probed through other events that happen. Therefore, if they did that, if they say, “Okay, we’re going to pretend this didn’t happen and instead we’re going to invent this new thing and say it happened”, the memory would still serve up this old information.
Therefore, if there was some kind of a spontaneous trigger that happened and they started talking about it, it would be very difficult for them to remember, consciously remember to tell this lie over what really happened. Liars would prefer to merge those two together, so something really happened, we’re going to change this, this, and this.
“Okay, now this is how it went down”, that way when the real event gets triggered or when something in their memory triggers that event and they start talking about it they know that “Okay, they’re talking about it, wait a minute, this event is a little bit different because I changed it”.
They don’t need to remember the entire lie, all they need to do is remember the event naturally, spontaneously because it’s in the memory and then only a few points that are changed or a few details that are different and then other people will extrapolate from that or assume things.
One of the greatest lies is allowing people to tell other lies for you. When people are really good at lying or if they are criminals or in interrogation situations, so those of you in law enforcement this is important. A lot of people that you’re going to be dealing with, they would prefer to allow you to draw all the conclusions and come up with your own story. Of course, you’re not going to see it that way but that’s what they are doing.
For example, you may say, “So, you did this and then what?” Okay, well, maybe they didn’t even do that, you just projected that on them and now that’s what they did. So, they could allow you to continue on that story and you’d have the whole thing wrong. Then, later on, you say, “Well, that’s what you told me” and they say, “No, that’s what you said, I did”.
So, they’re going to allow you to tell that life for them so they don’t even have to tell it and that’s something to be very careful of, never ever push things on other people, let them speak and tell you what the story is before you assume anything. You don’t need to be insinuating things and this is a huge debate when it comes to getting witness statements from children because a lot of interrogators push that on children.
Whereas they would say things like they put words in their mouth, they would say, “Oh, well you saw it got smashed, right?” Then, later on, the child, who may have never heard that word before is now describing this thing with the word smashed rather than just hit. It sounds a lot more dramatic than it really was due to the interrogator putting those words in someone’s mouth. So, if you’re asking questions, be careful of that and if you’re on the receiving end of the questions be careful with that as well.
The main thing to remember here is that these stories people prefer to conceal the truth and let other people extrapolate on it and assume. So, do not fall into that trap, do not let yourself extrapolate on someone else’s truth and turn it into a lie. Allow them to say it because if they have to tell you that lie then there are a lot more chances for them to slip up and it’s a lot better for you to spot the truth.
So, if this is your first time watching these videos, I’d love to have you subscribe to the channel on YouTube, feel free to comment with any questions you may have as well. Also, if you’d like some more information, we’ve got books, podcasts, blog posts, all available on spencercoffman.com that are dedicated to teaching you exactly what every body is really saying, until next time.