Deception Tips Video 73 – Leaning
Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman, thank you for watching the deception tips videos. They’re all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you. Today, we are talking about a tip that is related to what we talked about last time on Bodily Axis and that was in Deception Tip number 72.
We’re talking about whether or not someone is leaning and how they’re going to be orientated to the conversation, the position or the topic based on their tilt or the way that their body may be leaning. So, here it is, this is Deception Tip number 73. Obviously, when someone leans away, they are resistant or uninterested. When someone leans toward, they are interested or involved in the situation.
So, we’ve talked about this before in Deception Tip number 50, we spoke about how someone could be leaning or orientated towards the exit and how that means that they may want to flee or get away from that current situation. This could happen when a liar is being interrogated by a target or by the person they’re trying to lie to. If the target isn’t believing the liar’s story and they are just saying, no I don’t believe this and they’re catching them in their lie, they’re making them very uncomfortable.
The liar could be shifting towards that exit, almost to try to escape and make a break for it, but they may not be. Obviously, that’s just what they want to do, they’re not really going to physically go, maybe they will but that’s what they are feeling inside. The same thing could happen when two people are having a conversation, maybe they aren’t lying, maybe there isn’t any deception going on, but the person just isn’t interested.
They may be leaning away or leaning to the other side to try to show subtly that they aren’t interested. Eventually, leaning could take the form of the bodily axis, which we talked about last time, and how all of a sudden, they could start to turn away. Maybe their feet are pointing somewhere else, maybe their shoulders are pointing, their hips are pointing and all of a sudden, they’re going to say, “Alright, catch you later” and bam, they’re out of there.
So, that’s something that you need to really pay attention to, not only if they’re going to be leaning in a certain direction but what that turns into. Remember everything that we’ve talked about is a part of a pattern or a cluster of behaviors. You can’t take any one sign and determine whether or not someone is lying, you need to look for these patterns and these clusters of behavior.
So, if they’re leaning then all of a sudden, they’re orientating their bodily axis towards something, then they’re squaring up their hips, their toes are pointed that way but their head is focused on you, you know pretty soon they need to get going, they’re out of there. If it’s a situation where you’re interrogating someone who may be lying, you’re not going to release them from that but if it’s a friend that you’re talking to you’re going to say, “Hey, do you need to get going? Okay, we’ll talk later” and you can be aware of all of this.
You’ll be able to understand what every body is really saying, not everybody, every body and you’ll know what they mean or what they unconsciously want. You’ll be able to communicate more effectively to them and discern the truth, you will be able to interpret whether or not they are being truthful with you.
When you give someone some news or you’re telling him something, if they’re really interested, you notice how sometimes you may be watching a TV program or a really intense movie and you’re leaning in. You might have your arms on the desk, or you might have your arms on your knees, and you’re focused into that movie, you might be hunched. That is your leaning toward, you want to get more, you just can’t wait.
If it’s something you’re really not interested in, maybe it’s a documentary that you don’t care about and you might be leaning back or leaning away. If you’re driving in the car with someone and there’s the driver’s seat and the passenger’s seat, sometimes the person in the passenger’s seat, maybe they’re sitting on this side of their body and leaning toward the driver’s side. Their shoulders are like the something happens, and they’re disagreed then all of a sudden, they’re leaning toward the window and facing the window.
You can watch the leaning of a person’s body to tell whether or not they are interested in that conversation. Sometimes if it’s a normal conversation, you can use that to release someone from a conversation but if it’s the lying or deception type of a conversation then you know you might be onto something.
If you are starting to catch someone in their lie, they might start leaning away because they don’t care, and they’re not interested in what you’re saying because it’s going to result in them being caught. Obviously, they don’t want that, so you can use that to keep going down that road and make them a little bit more stressed and agitated to get them to finally crack and tell you the truth.
So, if this is your first time watching these videos, I’d love to have you subscribe to the channel on YouTube. Feel free to comment if you have any questions as well. Also, if you’d like some more information, we’ve got books, podcasts, blog posts, all available on spencercoffman.com that are dedicated to teaching you exactly what every body is really saying, until next time.