Deception Tips Video 78 – Entire Story
Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman, thank you for watching the Deception Tips videos. They’re all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you. Today, we are talking about a certain tip that is related to two other tips we’ve talked about before. This one is important, it’s more of a strategy or a tactic that you can use to keep the lies coming.
Why would you want to keep the lies coming? Well, the thing is when someone is lying to you, you want them talking, you need them to continue to talk until they’ve convinced you or convinced themselves that they’ve convinced you. Obviously, if they’re lying, you don’t want them to convince you because then you’d be fooled and hurt by lies and the whole goal of this is for you to spot these lies and not be hurt by them.
So, when someone is talking and is telling this lie, they’re trying to convince not only you, they’re also trying to convince themselves that you’re convinced and they’re trying to convince themselves of the lie. If they start to believe the lie, they might not display any of this leakage because they’re believing it as a truth, so when they’re doing this, you want them to talk.
We’ve talked about this, as I said, a couple times before, back in episode number 13 with Staying Silent and how it’s important for you to stay silent and let them talk. Again, we’re talking about a little bit more today on the same lines of that. So, here it is, this is deception tip number 78. Be careful to listen to the entire story, as words can often have more than one meaning. Use context to determine whether or not they are being deceptive.
So, listen to the entire story, remember that goes again, stay silent, as I said in 13, but also, we talked about it probably 10 or so episodes ago in number 69 with Become Silent. That one is important, that’s when you’re in a conversation, you become silent, you stop talking to allow that awkward silence to happen. When that happens, the liar’s comfort level goes from bad to worse.
Remember they’re already uncomfortable, they’re stressed, they’re tense, they’ve got all this stuff to worry about, getting caught, telling the lie, believing the story, consequences of the actions, of the lie, etc. So, when there’s that awkward pause, it goes from bad to worse, imagine pausing for 30 seconds. So, this one is Entire Story, you can use those other two, Deception Tip 13 and 69, Become Silent, Staying Silent, use that to help you listen to the entire story.
Let them talk through the whole thing then as they’re talking, you can be taking notes, okay, wait a minute, I think I noticed something right here when they said this, I think I noticed something else when they said this. After they’ve said the whole story then you can go back and say, when you were talking about XYZ, what did you mean by that?
Don’t interrupt them throughout the story, let them finish the whole story then come back and pick it apart piece by piece with each of the different signs a deception that you’ve noticed. What this is going to do is number one, it’s going to allow them to talk, they’re going to become a little bit more at ease, they’re going to become a little bit more confident.
They’re going to think, okay, I’ve got this in the bag, it wasn’t so hard, now their guard is going to go down then you start pulling apart every single thing in their story. They’re really going to get frazzled and certain things like maybe you saw a sign of deception at this point and you start to pick that point apart, you’re going to see more signs of deception.
You can just keep going down that rabbit hole then you move on to the next one and then the next one and the next one. Pretty soon, they’re going to be so messed up that they’re going to tell you the truth or they’re going to slip up and you’re going to find out the truth. So, that’s why it’s important to listen to the entire story.
So, if this is your first time watching these videos, I’d love to have you subscribe to the channel on YouTube. Feel free to comment with any questions you may have as well. Also, if you’d like some more information, we have books, podcasts, and blog posts all available on spencercoffman.com that are dedicated to teaching you exactly what every body is really saying, until next time.