Deception Tips Video 92 – Avoid Negative Outcomes

Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman, thank you for watching the deception tips videos. They’re all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you. Today, we’re going to talk about a technique that you can use to help get the truth from someone. This is something that you’d use when the person realizes that they might be in trouble.

You may have already caught them in their lie, you might have challenged them a little bit and now you’re trying to get them to admit to the truth or to tell you the truth at this point. So, you’re going to offer them an escape if they comply, it’s a very popular technique, people use it on their kids all the time and generally it works pretty well.

So, here it is, this is deception tip number 92. Offer a way of escape or a route of less punishment if they tell you the truth. People are motivated to avoid negative outcomes. So, you want to offer a way of escape or less punishment if they tell you the truth, not when or whatever. You’re going to get it from them, but this is a one-time deal, you need to give them a sense of urgency.

It’s not something that you’re going to be talking to them and you’re going to offer this and then a little while later they say, okay, I’m ready now. No, no, no, the time has passed, you already had your chance, now you can tell me but it’s too late. So, it’s a sense of urgency, you want to make them feel like this deal isn’t going to last forever and that if they tell you the truth now they can avoid some type of punishment or negative consequence. 

Again, this is something that’s very popular in movies usually, someone will walk in, the DEA, and they’ll say, well, the prosecuting attorney is going to offer you a one-time plea bargain for this. Sometimes people plea so they don’t have to risk getting a larger sentence, that’s not what this is, it’s a similar tactic, it’s the same principle.

This is more like, look, if you tell me the truth, you’ll only be in trouble for what you did, not for lying about it. I’ll remove that punishment or that consequence so you’re going to get off the hook for lying. Remember that when people lie, they’re stressed about a lot of things, they’re worried about a lot of things. They’re worried about what they did, they’re worried about lying about it, they’re worried about the consequence of lying about it, etc.

So, if you say, look, I know this is what you did, you’re going to be in trouble for that, if you tell me the truth right now then I’ll forget that you lied about it, we’ll just move on and move past that and go forward. Hopefully, they’ll tell you the truth but if they don’t and then they tell you later well, now you are in trouble for lying about it and for whatever you did.

So, make it urgent, give it a sense of urgency, because people are motivated to take the lesser or the route of least resistance, they don’t want to be in trouble. If you say look, there’s this or this, this one is more, this is less, and you can get off easier, most people want to take the easy way out. 

They want a scapegoat, they want to get off with a slap on the wrist or something light, they don’t want the heavy, maximum sentences, punishments, consequences or whatever you want to call them. People are motivated for self-preservation, therefore, use that technique and allow them to make the choice to tell you the truth by giving them a little bit of an incentive. 

So, if this is your first time watching these videos, I’d love to have you subscribe to the channel on YouTube. Feel free to comment with any questions you may have as well. Also, if you’d like some more information, we have books, podcasts, blog posts all available on spencercoffman.com that are dedicated to teaching you exactly what every body is really saying, until next time.